The Happiest Mama on the Block!

While searching for "colic remedies" the other day, I came across the DVD "The Happiest Baby on the Block" on Amazon.
I had heard of this book before but I thought it was just another parenting book - I had no idea it was actually a philosophy of very effective, easy measures to turn off a baby's "cry switch" and make him peaceful and calm almost immediately.
Plus, the title is kind of doofy so I never even bothered to find out more.

The idea that I could actually read a book these days is completely laughable.
So I ordered the DVD because it really gets rave reviews. It almost seemed too good to be true, but desperate times...

The DVD arrived yesterday afternoon and Joe and I started watching. Drew started fussing about halfway through because that's just how he rolls, and Joe and I immediately decided to try what we had learned.

Basically, the doc who developed the methods used in THBOTB came up with a pretty revolutionary idea that in the first three months ex-utero, a human baby is still very much in need of the womb. Baby horses can run the same day they are born. So can giraffes. This kind of superaccelerated development is not at all uncommon in the animal kingdom, kangaroos being the one exception I can think of.
But human beings have huge brains, relative to our bodies.
If nature let us gestate as long as we needed to, about 12 months, we'd never get out. I mean, the opening is only so big, folks.
So we humans are born completely helpless, unable to even hold up our heads.

The doc calls the first three months ex-utero "the fourth trimester", and
he encourages parents to start thinking this way.

In the fourth trimester, your baby really needs to feel like he is "back home" in the womb. To make him feel this way will make for a peaceful baby.

The doctor also found that all human babies have a sort of "off-switch" and it's very easy to find and use to calm a crier.

The method in the book is called "The Five S Method."
Basically, it's:

1) Swaddling. Swaddle your baby TIGHTLY for at least the first three months, six if needed. The doc shows very clearly how to do a good swaddle. It's easy with his tips!

2) Stomach/Side Lying. Swaddle your babe and then turn him over (either in your arms or in a swing - whatever) onto his side or stomach. It's like magic.

Still crying? Now try 3) Shushing. Not that meek little "Shhhh" that you hear mamas at Mass doing. The actual shushing done in a baby's ear is LOUD - in utero, a baby hears sounds as loud as a vacuum cleaner 24/7. Recreating this noise is calming and reassuring to a baby. Let it rip: "SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

In the rare event your baby is still crying, add 4) SWINGING. This is not putting baby in a swing, but rather placing him tummy down almost at an angle on your knees, which are together unlike your feet which are shoulder width apart.
You "jiggle" baby so that his head looks like Jell-O on a plate. It's not violent "baby shaking" - it's how his head jiggles in utero when his mama walks around during the day.

The 5th "S" is sucking. Put a pacifier in his mouth. I had been trying to get Drew to hold a paci in by placing my finger on it and trying to keep it in. Doc says this is wrong. Take your finger and flick the paci and make the baby think it's going to fall out. This trains him to suck harder to keep it in, and sucking is calming for a baby.

THAT. IS. IT.

After we swaddled Drew we used an extended arm to hold him like a football, tummy down. He immediately calmed RIGHT DOWN. He didn't go to sleep right away - but his eyes kind of glazed over and he started staring off into space. Joe and I burst out laughing. Was this a fluke? Was this witchcraft?

We put him in the swing like the doc said, already calmed, swaddled, and on his side. We put it on the highest setting (doc said low settings do NOTHING for a baby who wants to feel like he's back in the womb) and lo and freaking behold:
He sat calmly for a few minutes and then fell asleep. For two hours.

It was a World Swing Record for Drew, who formerly would tolerate just five minutes or so - not long enough to fold clothes or eat or wash dishes. I couldn't talk on the phone, I couldn't relax at all.

Last night, he got fussy again, so we swaddled, stomach-lied, and shushed. Bingo. Calm baby.

Thir morning, same thing. I was upstairs brushing my teeth and he started his grunting/army crawl/uncomfortable thing he does ALL THE TIME.
Joe swaddled him, turned him over, and shushed him.
In less than two minutes, he was calm as a lamb and swinging happily.

I did it again an hour or so ago.
He is still sleeping. I have been vacuuming, Joe has been hammering nails, Mary has been stomping around - still, New and Improved Calm Drew sleeps.
Thank you, Baby Jesus.

WHY DIDN'T ANYONE TELL ME ABOUT THIS DANG VIDEO THREE WEEKS AGO???
WHY DON'T THEY HAND THIS OUT IN THE HOSPITAL???!!

:):):):)