In the meantime, for those of you who are currently pregnant, you might just want to take a moment to read this article about cervical scarring, which can be caused by ANY procedure, no matter how small or "insignificant", done on your cervix.72 hours into labor is *not* the time you want to get diagnosed/treated with this condition. Being sent home from the hospital while in hard labor because you're "just a 1/2 cm dilated" is humiliating and frustrating. It also comes with a slight degree of discomfort, as you can imagine.
Once you've been in labor for 2 or 3 days, and been given Pitocin to attempt to dilate (a valid use for the drug) and been given an epidural to attempt to dilate (again, perfectly legitimate), when you get to 10 cm, you might still be able to push for 2 or 3 hours (with baby's head visible - nothing like THAT frustration) but trust me when I tell you your body will give out and you will end up with a C-Section in time.
I had a "good" C-Section in that it was necessary at the time. But if we had known about my cervical scarring on Monday, things would have gone differently and I might not have needed the section at all.
You wanna cut my mama where?What's the big deal, some say. You're healthy, your baby is healthy.
True, and I had a great labor to boot. Hypnobabies is amazing (I could hear Joe and Doula Cecelia laughing softly in the background as they watched the contractions peak with nary a movement from me), I labored for days drug-free (contractions are not pathological - their purpose is to bring you your baby and they are a good thing), I got Pitocin (a looong, sloooowly upped dose, the way God intended), I got an epidural (uncomfortable, but a great anesthesiologist makes all the difference. What a kind, caring man he was!), I let the epidural run its course when I became concerned about heartrate decelerations I heard (and the next anesthesiologist was just as awesome - he had drawn it and was going to inject it into the tube when I said, "Wait. I'm not comfortable with this." The nurse said to him, "Okay, just go ahead" and he flat-out told her, "I am not doing anything a patient is uncomfortable with." Then he looked at me and said, "Honey, I'm here all night. You need me, I'll be back in a flash." )
I labored in 6 or 7 different positions, I was told over and over, "His head is RIGHT THERE! Won't be long now!" and then I was told by an OB, "This is one of the hardest things I have to tell patients - you need a C-Section."
(Hilarious side note: I was hooked up to an IV and I had Pitocin, the remnants of the epidural, water, a catheter, an internal monitor, and an external fetal monitor. The OB came in and said, "I know you really wanted a natural birth, and you've given 110%", blah blah blah.
I couldn't resist turning around from my hands and knees, naked-from-the-waist-down position (doc was behind me) and saying, "Does this look natural to you? I think you mean *vaginal* birth."
(Yeah, I was probably like his favorite patient evah.)
And I'm healthy and my baby is healthy. Thank you, Lord, for modern medicine.
But I'll tell you why a C-Section is ***NOT*** the ideal way for a child to come into this world. (Sometimes necessary? Absolutely. Ideal? No way.)
I spent my last moments of pregnancy nauseated and shaking as my internal organs were tugged and removed from a gaping hole in my abdomen. I was scared for me and my child. I consciously offered up the surgery for those women who wish to have children but cannot, and for all the people I had been offering up contractions for. This calmed me down immediately. The whir of the electric scalpel was confusing to me. I wondered what it was. I wondered why I smelled burning flesh. Oh, right.
I wondered what was being suctioned out of me, and immediately tried to stop wondering because it made me physically ill.
I didn't know if my baby was born. I don't remember anyone saying, "It's a boy." I don't remember anyone saying, "Baby's out."
I remember Joe saying, "Oh, hon, he's so cute" and I joked back, "Are you just saying that? Because if he's ugly, put him back." (This delighted the surgical team and they all burst out laughing.)
Then my son was suctioned and wiped with a hospital towel and handled by several people who do not love him and I began to shake violently. This continued for 30 minutes or so. Then I threw up on the midwife. A lot. I mean, it came and came. Thankfully, it was just liquids, as they won't feed you after you have an epidural, which had been hours earlier.
After a good while, I was wheeled into recovery and finally my baby was brought to me.
I tried to enjoy him, but I was so exhausted. I don't remember too much about the next few hours, except for the nurse saying something about me losing a lot of blood. Joe told me later that yeah, I had lost a lot of blood and at one point the nurse was yelling out orders, calling for more Pitocin (I got to enjoy that for a couple of days afterwards to stop the bleeding), and her face was pure panic.
I don't remember that.
That night, Drew started to spit up and choke in his bassinet. Joe was sound asleep. I had been, but that woke me up. And I could not move out of the bed to get him. I just yelled, "Joe! Joe! He's choking!" as I struggled in vain to get off my back and to the bassinet.
C-Sections hurt. I won't lie. It's major abdominal surgery - they have to cut through every single layer of muscle (and in my case, a few layers of fat) to get to your uterus. They handle it roughly. I developed a severe rash on my entire abdomen from something they used (tape?) during the surgery.
I couldn't go to the bathroom until Saturday, I think.
I couldn't shower until Sunday.
I can't bend over to pick up my child from his bouncy seat.
I can't pick up anything heavier than him, which is damn hard when you have a toddler.
I have to rely on help, all the time.
I hope the next time, if there is a next time, I won't need surgery because I'll know about the scarring beforehand. By the way, the midwives said there is no reason to believe it'll be a problem in the future - the scar tissue was massaged away (which is how I went from 0 cm to 5 cm in 5 seconds flat) and shouldn't return.
The midwives all told me I had been such an amazing patient. I had "such a spirit", one said. They visited me a lot in the days afterwards. I think maybe an OB visited me once. (Hilarious when you consider that as soon as you're sectioned, you become their patient and leave the midwives.)
We talked, we laughed (gently - it hurts so bad post C-Section), and we cried.
They all want me to VBAC with them when the time comes.
:)
14 comments:
Oh my C! That is just crazy...I can't even imagine. Modern medicine has it's good points and drawbacks that is for sure....
How else could they have gotten that little booger out?
To think that it could have been fixed before...Wild....How did you get that "disorder?" on your cervix? Are there any signs....Or yes, I should read the article probably...
Can you send me your address?
Thanks momma!
And when you post you need to post pics. ;)
Yeah, it was a good thing, Sew, and I have such peace about it because at the time it was so necessary.
Oh, yeah, and he was "sunny side up" too which is a terrible position for vaginal birth. He was stuck behind my pubic bone.
I got it from a cone biopsy and a resulting cryo procedure where they freeze precancerous cells off your cervix, but ANY procedure that involves your cervix can cause serious scarring.
Haha, here's the pic that goes with this story: the last pic in the last post which Joe did, where I'm all "made up" and smiling? That was right after they said, "You're 10 cm! You'll see your baby soon!"
HA.
HA.
HA.
Thank you for posting this! And I'm glad your OB was paying some sort of attention.
This was exactly what happened to me with Maggie but no one mentioned the scarring til after the fact. Morons!
I had cryo as well a year or two before having Maggie. I was 3cm dilated for a few weeks and then at 42 weeks, she still hadn't come. We induced at home with the castor oil cocktail and was 5 cm when we finally got to the hospital. That was 5 am thereabouts. By 11 that night, only 6 cm and had had 2 hours of heavy pitocin to try to encourage things. Nada. C section it was an hour later.
Only at my post partum checkup did the OB think to mention my scarring from the cryo may have hindered LandD. I even had a doula who didn't think to mention either. I was really upset with having the section after prepping for 3 months for a natural Bradley birth. But I know what you mean, sometimes it has to be done but it is definately not ideal. I felt robbed in a way.
But our babies are here and in the end, that's the point I guess:) I just had lots of research pointing to an incrase in PP Depression following a c section and it really did a number on me. I sometimes feel like I would have had a better PP experience if I had delivered vaginally.
Brenda,
Just a quick note, it was the midwives, not the OB, who discovered the scarring. Had I been with an OB, I've no doubt I'd have been induced (unsuccessfully) at 40 weeks (advanced maternal age, dontcha know) and ended up still sectioned but confused and wondering if I could have done anything different.
We tried for 72 hours to do EVERYTHING (including cervical massage, several times) but it just wasn't happening til it was happening, I guess.
I went into labor at about 41 weeks, and got all of the fun but none of the dilation.
Yep, we did Bradley, Hypnobabies, Acupuncture, tea upon tea, etc. I sort of feel it was a "waste" but I know in the case of Hypnobabies, it helped me calm down and prepare as my labor changed and became more stressful.
I can see how C Section would lead to more PPD. You can't "take care" of your baby (my example of Drew choking) and your body hurts and breastfeeding is harder (my milk is just now coming in) and all of a sudden you don't feel "pregnant and beautiful" you feel handicapped and ill and scarred.
Anyway, the midwives were kind enough to come talk to me frequently about PPD even though I wasn't technically their patient anymore. Good thing, because the OB came in for about 45 seconds, asked how I was, and left.
Oh and I wanted to say that not being able to get up while your baby is choking just might kill me. I didn't meant to not comment on that because that is HUGE!
I could have easily helped you out with post op stopped up! ;) I love him! ;)
So glad he is here and ok, and you know what you know now. Don't worry, you'll be VBACing come next October ;)
Thanks SO SO SO MUCH for the prayers in labor Wow what a gift.
Yeah, OB's are in and out. They were probably tired of looking at us slow pokes!
Your prayers are a miracle for my stepson - he is back at work and feeling better than he has in 2 years. THANK YOU!
Yeah, that sounds *exactly* like the c-section with Charley; right down to the rash (yes, it's from the adhesive on the surgical tape). Isn't the violent shaking the most unbelievable, scary thing ever? It freaked me out.
Aside from the pain, my feet swelled SO badly when I got home that I thought my toes were going to burst.
It's really difficult and I experienced permanent numbness in my lower abdomen. There's a patch of skin about the size of a tangerine that is numb and always will be.
I will not have another c-section if I can avoid it. My goal is to have a VBAC with #3 whenever he/she comes along.
He's still beautiful and I'm so happy for the both of you.
Glad it all worked out okay, I think you have the perfect attitude about it all and couldn't agree with you more. I am not a fan of pitocin and hope to avoid it with this labor, we'll see. Good to know about the scarring b/c I have had a cryo procedure as well. I wonder if it will affect me since it dind't with #1, but maybe that doesnt' matter? Was your cryo after Mary? I am back and forth about a bradley birth. I am glad for my epidural with the first one (shaking and vomiting for 3 hrs b/c pain was so bad and no dilation) b/c I could relax and dilated quickly from 3 to 9 in 45 min and was still able to push, etc no prob...but I do think the bradley classes would help me relax more naturally and maybe it wouldn't be needed...? But it is hard to find the time, its expensive, and in the end it could easily not go that way anyway...decisions decisions. Glad he is here and healthy and your family is just beautiful! Congrats!
Ang,
So glad to hear that, but I can't take the credit.
A.M.D.G.
:)
Amy,
Word, girl. My feet swelled too, and it was grody. They finally went down after a couple of days home.
WR,
It might affect you this time, it might not. The 'wives said it *should* be okay for next time, but scarring can reform. Mary was adopted but the cryo was nearly 20 years ago.
Yeah, some women can push through an epidural - I don't think I'm one of them. I kept asking if I was pushing right. :)
Bradley is awesome - it's a great philosophy and has helped normalize birth for a lot of women.
I didn't go to the classes but they say if you study the books you will be just fine. Also, read Ina May Gaskin's "Guide to Childbirth and watch the documentary "The Business of Being Born" - both will give you a great amount of knowledge and confidence. And Hypnobabies actually helped me relax through my C Section and always remember to offer up any suffering - it really puts things in perspective.
:)
You're cryo was 20 years ago??? Oh man, I had hopes that the more time passed, the better it would get:) I know to watch out for it this time though!
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