It was so nice to have someone articulate my exact feelings on the subject.
One of the questions I get asked a lot as a mother of five kids, is "But how do you plan to pay for their college?"
The answer? I don't.
In some circles, this admission is tantamount to saying you lock your children in the closet as a form of discipline or let them eat nothing but Doritos for breakfast most days: not technically abuse, but a sure sign that you aren't really capable of meeting their needs. These days, any self-respecting middle-class mom knows that part of her job includes providing the means necessary for, at the very least, a four-year degree at the best institution to which her child is able to gain admission, plus the costs of room, board and books (and let's face it, beer).
I've even heard parents argue passionately against requiring college-going kids to hold part-time jobs to help defray costs, because twenty hours a week spent slinging burgers or answering the phone might prevent said young scholars from being able to "fully immerse" themselves in the college experience.
Cue the violins!
Some of my siblings went to community college. Some went to 4 year college. My parents helped when they could, but they certainly felt no obligation (nor that it was exactly a good thing) to pay for everything. One of my sisters, my brother and I all joined the military.
Turns out, every American has a rich uncle willing to foot the entire bill for college if you'll just work for him for a couple of years.
I never got a degree (just not school-minded, I guess) but I did get military experience, which helped me get a good job. I now work side-by-side with a guy who has the same title, same pay, and same work duties as me only he has a Masters Degree. In fact, most of the people who work for me have at least a four year degree.
If Mary wants a degree, more power to her. If she wants to join the military, that's great too.
If she wants to join a convent, I'm down with that. But I feel no obligation to buy her a higher education.
Me and Joan Crawford*. We're like this, y'all.
*Second Joan reference in two days.
5 comments:
NOTHING, not education, not family, not a car, no toy, no absolution, NOTHING is worth nearly as much to you if you didn't have to work for it. PERIOD. And I'm not in the least concerned about leaving something for my son, except the skin I gave him at the outset.
I agree totally. Glad to know I'm not alone.
All 4 kids got student loans and all are doing well in their fields. I send them a little money each month to help with groceries but that's it.
My dad paid for half of my tuition. I did an internship for room and board at the Newman Center and worked my butt off to pay for the other half of tuition and other bills. I graduated from college with $7 in the bank and NO DEBT :) I was extremely proud of myself. I also had a job lined up before I graduated. Even if I can pay for my kids entire college, I won't. I appreciate my education SO much more I'm sure, even though, ya know, I "use" it all the time :)
Gah!!! - I USED to send them money for groceries! I haven't sent them money (except for birthdays and Christmas) for years!!!
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